Duhhhhhhh

6-16-09

Me tired. This is my third attempt at writing a blog post feeling like my brain is swaddled in bubble wrap. The past two times I wrote notes to myself that make only the vaguest sense to me now and swore that tomorrow, that fine day when the sun will finally come out, I would be infused with both energy and wit. No dice. This fog is in it to win it and I am a mere mouse being tossed about in its mousey paws. (Yes, the fog is also a cat. No mixed metaphor that.)

Yup, still pregnant. Pregnant and too tired to get too worked up about being pregnant. Is that why the first trimester symptoms are such a beat down? To let the worries of what’s going on in there take a back seat to worries about how I’m going to make it through the workday without slumping over my computer in a sudden narcoleptic fit?

Sadly this onslaught of symptoms coincides with the much anticipated visit from JADE, the power quartet of my brother-in-law, sister-in-law, niece, and nephew. I’m thrilled to have them here, but wish that I could be my sparkling self instead of this creature who lumbers about the house fantasizing about an 8:00 bedtime. Last night I beat my niece Emma to bed. She’s 6. She read to me from a novelization of Disney hit, Enchanted. In my sleepy state, I almost started bawling at the sweetness of the moment. Just a few years ago, it was I who read a picture book about witches to her. They grow up so fast.

What was I saying again?

New pregnancy developments: Dr. Awesome has given us our referral to the Center for Sadness and Disappointment so I will again be making an appointment for early genetic testing. Again be faced with the Audrey Hepburn ultrasound room. I was too chicken shit to call today. I wonder if our genetic counselor will see our names on her docket and say a silent prayer that she doesn’t have to be the bearer of bad news and boxes of tissues yet again.

Next week I see an acupuncturist who is also a nurse midwife. I don’t know what she can do, but I’ll take all the help I can get. Well, almost all of it. In addition to acupuncture she offered an herbal drink that would support the fetus. I am declining for the time being. I’ll need to confer with Dr. Awesome about that one. Plus I’ve never actually made it to the fetus stage. I’ve been arrested at embryo.

Question of the day: How do women with small children survive the first trimester? My sweet nephew is 3-years-old and a bundle of chaos. Even following him around for 15 minutes tires me out. Props to the pregnant mothers in the house. May you find peace.

And a note of congrats to Jan, my yoga buddy. She gave birth to her healthy son last week. May I follow in her footsteps.